That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
