found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
