When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
