just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
