maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
