bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize