K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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