Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
