Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
