three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
