So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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