His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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