actually, I'm a sock model
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
