Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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