We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
