Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize