I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
