Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
