YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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