I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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