So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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