Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
