All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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