I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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