You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize