sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
