dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
