By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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