I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
