he wants to bone in the snuggie
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
