Pappa wants mamma naked
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
