I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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