No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just cropdusted the office
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
