I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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