He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Barsexuality is the new black.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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