considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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