At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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