I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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