Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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