I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
