I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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