Soap is not a condiment
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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