these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I smell like Dick and happiness
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize