dude i'm inner monologue high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
