It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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