we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
