I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
