yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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