it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize