Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
