Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
