maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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