it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
