She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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