5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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