im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize