Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
