I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you win again, gameday.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
