$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
