So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
